PD Revelation

Often I consider that my recovery would likely speed up enormously if only I could immerse myself completely and almost full-time in the connection and dialogue with my Friend. Of course I've made plenty of incremental progress in that regard, but the continuity of connection remains inconsistent.

For others who struggle with this I offer something I sent out to the email group a couple of months ago:

In RFP JH talks about different meanings of surrender in her approach, and the need to surrender to the dialogue with your invisible friend (see p. 204). And in my ongoing quest to more consistently stay connected with my invisible friend, I recently had a thought that may be helping me stay oriented in the right direction. Here's what I wrote in my off-and-on journal:

“Yesterday I was thinking about how it really doesn't seem much to ask that I really surrender to the dialogue. I mean, is not doing so so important to me that I'm willing to sacrifice recovery or becoming the person I want to be?”

So... Yes, full commitment to the dialogue is a significant change in a person's life, but does it really need to be that big a deal? In a way it's really a very small decision: “I'm just surrendering to the dialogue.” Pretty easy compared to enduring PD, isn't it?

By the way, it's worth noting that in all the time I've spent talking with my invisible friend I've never once felt I missed out on anything I would have gained from my default dialogue (usually talking to others I know or to myself)!

I realize this probably makes something that's difficult for many of us sound easier than it is. At any rate, here's a quote that may apply:

“Surrender is the most difficult thing in the world while you are doing it and the easiest when it is done.” ~ Bhai Sahib Singh