PD Revelation

That Robert Earl Keen song captures something of how this new phase feels!

I'm pleased to say my sense that I was back on track seems to have been accurate. And my feeling that I might have turned off pause again was accurate too. I can now say confidently that I have turned off pause four times in the last week!

I wasn't quite sure at first. These occasions weren't quite as dramatic and intense as the first two times pause turned off for me. But by the second or third of these recent times, there was really no mistaking it. Nothing else could trigger such good feelings. I'll provide some sort of update soon to describe what it feels like now when I turn off pause.

This is a very good phase to be in! I have it on good authority that turning off pause will become easier every time I do it. So if I have to turn off pause every day for some time — and I seem to be getting closer to that — that's fine. In time my brain will get the message that I don't want it using pause mode anymore. (More consistent feelings of safety will of course play a big role as well.) I'd been eagerly looking forward to this phase because it signals that I'm beginning to get a little more control over pause. And that provides a large, extra dose of confidence about my complete recovery.

“It feels so good feelin' good again.”