Not as confusing as I thought!
In a prior post I quoted JWH in RFP (2020, pp. 362-363): “Although some people turn off pause immediately and lastingly following a mindshifting epiphany, most people with Parkinson’s recover slowly. They chip away at their old mental behaviors, slowly modifying their thought patterns until they notice recovery symptoms occurring.”
I expressed some uncertainty about where I fit in that regard, as I had turned off pause repeatedly but abruptly and completely each time. Today, reviewing a related passage (pp. 25-26), I believe the situation has clarified for me. That passage reads:
Although many people turn off pause in a flash, many others turn off pause gradually.... some even going two steps forward, one step back, for months or years. They might find at first that they have odd moments, now and then, during which they feel different – not on pause. In these moments, the mind is more relaxed and movement in some parts of the body feels more fluid. If a person keeps up or intensifies his mental self-therapy, these moments gradually increase in frequency and duration. Eventually, these people find that they are using self-induced pause mode only once in a while...
That seems clearly to be talking about the same gradual, chipping away process, and actually describes fairly well where I am at and where I seem to be headed as I turn off pause repeatedly over time (though my periods off pause have always extended beyond moments, to last for hours). That is, if I'm not mistaken, turning off pause repeatedly until it stays off is what JWH is referring to as turning off pause “gradually.” I am gradually getting to the point when pause will turn off lastingly.
So unless I learn otherwise I'm going to assume mine is not some weird case that doesn't quite fit in any of the categories JWH describes. I'm just one of those who is recovering gradually. And it feels good to know that!
Are you working toward turning off pause? Have you already done so? Let me know about your experience!