Recent additions to my routine
Before I continue documenting the latest twists and turns in my journey, I thought there might be some potential value to others in an update on my daily regimen with regard to the Janice Walton-Hadlock protocol. In particular, I want to mention a few things I had added to the regimen in the weeks and months prior to coming off pause.
It's been months since I mentioned here the basics of my daily regimen. When I last did, a typical day included: (1) a single dedicated session of something like 15 to 50 minutes in length, devoted to the two core exercises, (2) a walk of perhaps 30 to 60 minutes similarly devoted, and (3) efforts to keep the dialogue going throughout the day. My success at that last one was usually spotty. And the walk was typically a dog walk with our wonder girl, Poppy.
At some point I had to ask my wife to take over the dog walks so that I could walk without distraction. Poppy is just too lively, two interested in other dogs, etc. For me to walk with her and stay well engaged in the dialogue.
In early September, 2020, I added in a second session as part of the everyday schedule. That felt like a real boost! These days I try for sessions of roughly between 40 and 60 minutes.
In just the last couple of months I did the following:
When doing the second exercise I was often saying variations on: “Let me feel you hold me... safe and loving... trusting you... safe to let go [and sometimes]... let me feel your control.” Sometimes in the dialogue I began using phrases like, “I give myself over to you.” I believe that, as JWH makes clear, the willingness to surrender is a big key to this process.
Wanting to get even more serious about this, a few weeks ago I began to restrict myself to one hour of internet in the morning and one in the late afternoon. (It’s just too distracting from the dialogue.) I could still use the computer to play music and to read Janice's work.
I felt that about the only thing missing from my routine was more time, during daily activities, in the dialogue as per exercise number 1. So early this month I began really focusing on that more, just plain getting serious about it. In part a brut force approach, but probably more an attitude shift along the lines, “Am I going to take this seriously, or what?” (I had previously had some success, as well, nurturing the attitude that my dialogue with the “other” was my “comfort zone,” the mental space I was most comfortable going back to.)
Similarly, because I had long put a lot of emphasis on exercise number 2, and thought I might be slightly neglecting exercise number 1 in sessions and on walks, I began to spend significantly more time on it in sessions and on walks despite the fact that it often feels less intense to me than exercise number 2. In practice the two exercises tend to become blended, but I wanted to make sure I was getting in enough direct stimulation of my striatum.
The last few days before going off pause, I began stopping from time to time throughout the day, whatever I was doing, and just going through a concentrated bit of dialogue or the requests of the second exercise.
The past month or so I begin doing the new auxiliary exercises (RFP, 2020), especially the first two.
From time to time I wordlessly keyed in on feelings of surrender/stillness/relaxation/trust, just kind of sitting with those feelings.
I think that in the last couple of months I adopted a slightly new attitude along the lines, “Okay, I've been at this for a while. Maybe going off pause is actually possible sometime soon.”
As JWH makes clear, everyone's process is different. And I've seen that borne out in what I've learned from others who have had profound success with the protocol. That said, perhaps the list above will provide some useful ideas to those of you sharing this journey.