The daily bread and butter
The last couple of months has been a time of concentrated focus and progress. Much of the progress probably wouldn't be visible to an outside observer, but I have enough experience now in the protocol that I believe I can tell when I'm making tangible progress. Here's an example...
I keep a somewhat sporadic journal chronicling the evolution of my progress and my thoughts relevant to the protocol. Going back to December 5th, I find a notable entry. At that point I had spent the better part of three months back on pause, due perhaps in part to stubbornly lingering fears related to my brief hospitalization in July. (More later on dealing with those.)
On the day of that entry I wrote (lightly edited):
On yesterday's walk I asked [my Friend] how to better maintain my connection with her. She reminded me it was like meditation and having to gently pull yourself back from distraction. She pointed out that it's not so hard, but that it's more of an all day thing in the protocol. After that, it seemed easier to stay connected, and I got really good head feelings every time I talked to her. [“Head feelings” are what I call the pleasant feelings of energy or expansion, that I experience off and on in the protocol, similar to feelings I get in my head when pause is turning off. As is often the case, the feeling of heart expansion was heightened as well, and seemed like a key element in the process.] I think it seemed like more of a connection with a “you” that I was making, as though my Friend seemed more tangible than ever. It even prompted me to repeat the mantra, 'you, you, you' mentioned in SOP. Hoping I can continue that today. It's a subtle thing.”
A feeling of better heart connection with my Friend continued the next day. That subtle experience of my Friend seeming more tangible, and my connecting with her generating unusually good head/heart feelings, actually felt like a small but notable leap forward. I don't think it was unrelated that on the evening of that entry pause turned off. It turned back on sometime the next day, but was a welcome sign of progress nonetheless.
While, for me, the experience above certainly didn't qualify as a major breakthrough, I think it provides a good example of the daily bread and butter of small but important steps of progress in the JWH protocol.