Now that covid is well behind me and the lingering cough it left is completely gone or almost so (perhaps due in part to channel visualizations I've been doing to address the possibility that the virus blocked the energy flow through certain channels), I'm pretty sure my brain/body is returning to a state that will allow me more easily to turn off pause.
One indication is how I felt a few mornings ago. During the first half of my regular morning session I was focused a bit more than usual on the first two auxiliary exercises. At some point, while focusing on the energy running through the head/midbrain portion of the Du channel, I noticed something unusual. A high level of energy at Yin Tang, and more generally in my forehead, was persisting regardless of where I was focused. Similarly, a feeling of heart expansion was strong, though I had not consciously activated it. I felt, as well, a sense of increased lung capacity. But the biggest surprise came when i said something out loud. My voice was suddenly back to full strength rather than its usual pause-softened character.
In July I had a bout of covid, a breakthrough infection. I'm still dealing with a bit of a lingering cough. My hope is that when that's gone I'll be better able to turn off pause again.
A while back I wrote a post touching on the Taoist concept of “wu wei” which refers, more or less, to going with the natural flow of life. That has obvious relevance to the idea of surrender which has come up here frequently. I stumbled on this bit of audio from the late spiritual teacher Wayne Dyer while surfing YouTube. To my mind, he does a good job of explaining wu wei. Give it a listen!
As anyone following the JH protocol knows, “surrender” can be a key part of the process. That's why I've examined it here repeatedly. Recently my daughter pointed me toward the Tara Brach talks featured below. (Thanks, L!) I found them engaging, offering rich food for thought throughout.
Though I'm only part way through this new edition of SOP (2022), one major takeaway is clear. JH drives home the fact that self-induced pause is a habit. It acts in the brain as a habit, and must be eliminated by replacement with a new habit. JH makes this point repeatedly throughout the text. (see, e.g., SOP, 2022, Chap. 3 Self-Induced Pause; Chap. 10 Self-induced Pause: a Habit) I'll summarize here in my own words, but please see the book.
I just visited pdRecovery.org and found that the new edition of Stuck on Pause is now posted and available for download. This is a pre-publication version with a few parts not yet complete or posted, but is clearly a major update.
Well, I know what I'm going to be doing for the next few days! :–)
In a past post I observed that many of the myriad issues suggested to reflect possible causes of Parkinson's are in fact most easily understood as results of the long-term use of pause.
Following on that observation, it appears to me that a majority of people with Parkinson's and almost all medical professionals treating them want to believe PD has a purely physiological cause that will point to a physiological treatment. Maybe that's a result of the stigma surrounding psychological conditions. Perhaps owing to my training as a psychologist I don't relate to that stigma at all. In fact, I feel lucky to be in the small minority of people whose experience allows them to say without doubt that idiopathic Parkinson's is in fact a psychogenic condition.
Update – 6/22/22: This post assumes the presence of Type I PD.
Although I've said only a bit about it here, often on my mind has been how very paradoxical aspects of this process can be. The paradox I have in mind for this post concerns the goal of turning off pause. Paradoxically, you have a better chance of achieving this goal if you don't focus too much on the goal itself. I offered a passing thought on this topic in this post where I mentioned the folly of “chasing an experience.” And past posts on such topics as surrender may at times overlap with it.
I suppose the reason I haven't addressed this topic more directly, more often is that by its nature it can be a slippery, slightly confusing subject. That said, at some risk of oversimplifying, I'll try to summarize here as succinctly as possible what my experience so far tells me about this important paradox that appears in the JWH protocol.
When it comes to the nuts and bolts of the protocol, perhaps the topic I've touched on here most frequently is the question of how to increase the continuity of connection to my invisible Friend(s). (Is it clear this has been a challenge for me? :–) I have tried an array of different methods, some more helpful for me than others. Here I'll provide a brief update on my progress in this area, and will describe one more useful technique.
One very encouraging sign is the progress I see in this area when I compare my early efforts with the protocol to now. For example, in those early days, when I would take a walk, trying to use it as a time to dialogue with my Friend, distraction was a constant problem. I had to use techniques such as seeing every tree I would pass as a reminder to stay in touch with my Friend. Every tree, in a town full of trees! That's how prone I was to losing my focus on the dialogue, to losing my connection with my Friend. Today, on the other hand, I barely have any trouble at all maintaining the connection on walks. The dialogue is largely constant and distraction is minimal. I could say something similar about the dialogue within the dedicated sessions I do. So in those places I've come a long way!